Exercise and Low Calorie Day

As you may know, I use both Fitocracy and MyFitnessPal. I think they're awesome apps and perfect for keeping a track of your fitness and food. Plus I LOVE gaining levels on fitocracy :).

This is the workout I tracked today:

I hope you can see that. I'm very achy, especially after working out yesterday too. I'm planning on having the weekend off, but I may end up popping to the gym tomorrow - we'll see.

Super Calorific Indian Takeway and Under 200 Calorie 'Fry Up'

The other night, me and Rob had an indian take away and it was soooo good. They weren't nearly as bad as I thought they would be, mine was about 750 calories in total.
That was mine. So yummy.
A dopiaza, half a thing of pilau rice, half a thing of chips and half a HUGE naan. It was just what I needed, and I need to look into a really low calorie curry, because I really do love them.

Then I went to the gym today. I forgot my bottle of water though, so I was bloody knackered at the end. Enjoy the sweaty pic of me.

I only spent 10 minutes on the treadmill, then did:

• 10 reps each leg elevated lunges
• 20 of those ab spike things on the exercise ball
• 10 weighted squats (10kg)
• 10 plie squats
• 10 reverse flies (3kg each hand)
• 20 chest press (10kg)

Today for lunch, I wanted something warm, because when I'm revising in the dining room I get really cold! But it's hard to have warm food without toast or something, and I'm trying not to eat too much bread. So I had a 'fry up', except none of it was fried, there was no oil involved and it came to only 196 calories!

2 slices of ham

1 tomato

hand full of mushrooms - quartered

and a poached egg 

Super yummy, nice and filling, and just what I needed to warm up :)

'Fitspiration'

The other night I was talking to my fiance, we stayed up till 1am talking in fact - t'was nice. Anyway, at one point we got on about fitness, and about me going to the gym and what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

I started on the whole 'weight loss journey' for just that - to lose weight. But along the way my reasons for exercising and eating right has changed, and that's come from the experiences I've had in trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

First off, what have been the benefits I've noticed in being healthy:

• I haven't been ill nearly as much as last year
• I feel better - not just physically, but emotionally - I'm more able to deal with the stresses in my life
• I've saved money
• I feel more confident when I go to the gym

...to name a few.

All of those things, not one truly has anything to do with losing weight. They're to do with simply feeling better on the whole. And the other day I realised why I go to the gym, why I want to eat well and be as healthy as I can be; I want to be strong and fit to deal with life's ups and downs.

This may be tmi, but I want to be able to have marathon sex without getting tired. I want to be able to run for a bus (should I ever have to), I want to be able to run away should anyone try to attack me, or I want to be able to fight back, and be stronger than any assailant. I want to be able to carry heavy boxes with ease and not worry about hurting myself, I want to be able to run up lots of flights of stairs without it killing me. 

These are the reasons I run and I lift weights and do pilates. Not to fit into jeans a size too small, or to see the numbers go down on the scale - they're simply the markers of progress, not the end game.

I haven't been to the gym the last couple of days, as I've been moving out my flat, but I'm back tomorrow, and shall be posting my workout on here for you :). Trying some new moves :D

Lots of Yummy Food

Woke up early this morning and spent about half an hour in the gym. Not long, I know, but certainly long enough. After my time in the gym, I made myself some pancakes again, but this time I added blueberries in, and instead of a chopped banana, I had raspberries and honey :D.

 It was so yummy!

And it made me feel good, which is all I wanted from this new 'diet' thing. I'm still trying to lose weight and be sexy in a bikini of course. Me and my fiance have decided that we're going to go somewhere sunny, after my resits :).



Then for my lunch, oh my lunch :)

Two rashers of grilled bacon, one grilled tomato and one poached egg. So yummy, and just what I wanted. I really wanted something fatty to be honest, and my brother was making bacon sandwiches, and I've heard that eating fat without carbs is better for you or some such thing. So yeah :)

I'm feeling much better today, better about having to do these resits and better about myself. Looking forward to two weeks on Monday when this will all be over :)

Self Worth

(jsyk, this isn't going to be the most linear of posts)

I've never been the sort of person whose self worth has been tied in to how I look; how I think I look, how I believe other's perceive me, and what I know other's to think of me. It's just never been something that's really impacted my life. That's not to say I don't care, because I do. I care that my thighs jiggle, and that I don't fit into my jeans, but that doesn't mean it has any relevance on how I feel about myself as a whole.

However, there is one thing that has a major impact on how I feel about myself, and that's how well I perform academically.

Put it down to being one of the 'clever ones' through primary school, then being placed into top sets through secondary school, where these expectations of A and A* GCSE's are thrust upon you and if you're not living up to your potential you get taken into a room with all of the subject teachers and asked why you're not doing well, and essentially are made to feel about 2 inches tall (I should know). Then I went on to college - college was good. I studied Maths, Chemistry and Biology to A-level. Not easy subjects, I know, and I didn't particularly excel, but I passed at grades C and above, which was enough to get me into University to study Pharmacy.

I want to preface this with; I do like my course, and I do quite like my university, and (while we've had our differences) I do like my lecturers too, but I hate university.

Today, I got my results for the four exams I sat about a month ago. I passed two (Pathology and Pharmacy Practice - yay!) and failed the other two (Drug Substance and Pharmaceutics - not so yay). I was devastated. From not one of the exams did I leave and think 'Well shit, failed that one'. Each one I left feeling hopeful, that maybe for the first time in my university career I wouldn't have failed an exam. Maybe this time I'll be clever, maybe this time I'll show these lecturers, this university, the world, that I am actually good at what I do.

This was not the case.

I spent a while crying, and frankly I'm still not quite over that. Because all I could think about, was not just that I'd failed exams, that I would have to resit and it kind of mucks up my plans for summer, but that I was a failure. I'd gone and done it again, thick ol' Becky, back again.

I thought, 'Why can't I just get this? Other people do. Other people manage just fine? Why am I so fucking stupid that I can't manage to pass two stupid exams?' My perception of myself plummeted. I was no longer, Rebecca who is a whiz at making clothes, who can whip up the most delicious cake ever in no time, who can write epic novels (that may never see the light of day, but oh well), Rebecca who is strong, who can lift weights with the best of them, and has an amazing relationship with an amazing man. I was just Rebecca, girl who can't even get through one stupid degree course.

All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, and sleep for the rest of my life. I wondered - would the world be better off without me? I thought, I must be dragging down the universities stats, that I'm putting my family through needless stress (because my mum stresses right along with me), that I'd spoiled my fiance's plans.

It's a horrible feeling, feeling like you're useless. Not just stupid or thick, but actually useless - what good am I?

University, while I have enjoyed parts of it, has ruined me. And should I, God forbid, actually fail off this course with only 1 year to go, I will never go back. Give me a full time job. Give me a mortgage and a life. But I would never, ever go back to university, not even if you paid me.

What's truly annoying though, is I know I would be an awesome pharmacist. I work in a pharmacy now, and I love it. I really, really do. Even the patients that drive you insane, I just love talking to people, and advising them on their health choices. I really do like going to work. I love learning from the pharmacists we have in. I just really hope I get the chance to do that.

I've done a ton of revision already today, and my alarm's set for 6.15am (yay) so I can get to the gym for 6.30, back home for 7.30 and revising by 8am. Got a meeting with a lecturer tomorrow afternoon, and this time I am going to kill these exams. There is going to be no question as to whether I've passed, because I'm going to. I don't want to think about the alternative.

Dress Making

My fiance, Rob, is graduating from University after four years on the 16th July. Thus, I need a posh frock to wear. But of course, I'm not going to be buying one!

I saw this dress on Pinterest and just loved it. Though I wasn't fussed on the gathered top, or the binding/pleats round the bust, I knew I had to make a dress like this.

So I was straight on to Burda and found this pattern: Contour Bust Pattern. It's so cute and looking at photos of other peoples projects I knew that was what I wanted.

A couple of weeks ago I bought my material, this lovely green and a slightly off white for the contrast. I bought my zip and matching thread, too. Then today I took it all to my nana to see what she thought.

Unfortunately the photo I took of the pattern pieces on the material, ready to be cut out, got corrupted. But we ended up with 2 upper bust pieces (one for the front, and one as interfacing [different to how the pattern specifies]), 1 lower middle bust piece, 2 lower side bust pieces, and 2 back pieces (plus 2 pieces for back interfacing).

Each piece was extended on all sides allowing for a half inch seam, and for the lower pieces we added an extra two inches to the bottom, so it'll sit nicely on my waist and we also found that we had to extend the back panel pieces by about an inch each way (thankfully my nana has a seam ripped xD).

Then I sewed it all together, following the curves. This was the first time I sewed curves and I'm happy to say it went very well :).

Then I tried it on, and it fit perfect!

For the skirt of this dress, we're planning on making a very simple gathered skirt, we'll also be adding a halter neck strap and maybe a bow like in the original dress.

The next time I'm round (which should be Friday) we might make the skirt. Although I also have a petticoat to make for my future sister-in-law, to go under her prom dress.

All in all it went very well :) and I can't wait for it to be finished so I can wear it!!

Yummy Lunches and Exercising in the Sun

It's a delightful day today! Lovely and warm, terribly sunny and I've been awake for hours!

This morning I took my mam and her car to the MOT place, then I went to my nanas, and made the bodice of my dress (post to follow). I then took my mam to pick up her car, then had my lunch. 'Twas super yummy! I was wanting to cut out bread and chips, but my mam bought ciabatta from ASDA so I kind of had to have one. I topped them with avocado, tomato and mozarella, then toasted it :).

Then I went outside and exercised!

Got me sunnies on :). As you can see I used my yoga mat, but even still I'm covered in a rather horrible red rash - I'm quite allergic to grass, but only when touching it.

Tonight I'm going back up to our flat to finish cleaning it, after the pub quiz of course (we won last week!), then I get my level three results on Thursday morning. I'm just about holding on to my sanity...just.

Hopefully we'll actually get our holiday booked soon too :)

Super Yummy Breakfast Pancakes

Morning! I'm off to work today for 4 hours, and when I work these Saturdays I always want to eat something for breakfast that will stop be being hungry until 2pm when I get home. Today, I think I'm on for a winner!

Cassey Ho, off of Blogilates, has started a new webseries entitled Cheap Clean Eats. I've never tried any of her recipes before, because generally I simply can't get hold of the ingredients she uses what with being in England and all. But this one, with a little substitution, I can do! (If you want to make the actual recipe, which is definitely lower calories, click on the link above).

Honestly, eating this I did not feel like I was eating diet food! I'm so full and it was so yummy! You just have to make them :D

Ingredients
1 Quaker Oats So Simple plain porridge sachet
Dash of cinnamon
1/4 cup semi-skimmed milk
1 egg
1 banana
squidge of honey

Basically, just shot it all in your blender (but only 1/2 the banana) and blend until smooth. Then fry like a pancake. I made one thick one, or you could make a few little ones. Then I chopped up the other half of the banana, folded my pancake in half and drizzled it with a little honey :)

Nutritional Info
264 Calories
6g fat
9g protein

Cats and Bridesmaid Dresses

This morning I ate a weight watcher's yogurt for breakfast. My initial plan was to have the yogurt, go to the gym and swimming then come back and have a banana. However, I was in the gym longer than expected, ended up proper sweaty! I did 10 minutes on the rowing machine (did 2 km), then spent a while with the weights doing squats etc. Got some help carrying the exercise ball and step by some proper large bloke with no neck (everyone's so friendly while we're all sweating it out!). Then I went into the pool and did 4 laps, so 100m. Not a lot, but I was knackered!

I'm giving myself the weekend off as I'm at work tomorrow and on Sunday it's a friends 80's style 21st birthday party, where I'll be drinking margaritas and sangria by the pitcher - no bother :D.

Now, yesterday, I spent a little time waiting for Rob (he was helping his dad collapse the shed in the pouring rain) so I played with Tomcat :D

He's a proper sweetheart. He's about 18 years old, and he's looking a little scruffy, and he molts like nothing else. But he's always pestering for a cuddle. He's the biggest softie ever :) I love him.

Today I also went looking for at bridesmaid dresses with one my bridesmaids. Mostly it was just for colours and styles, but it was very fun! and I saw some lovely dresses which gave me a much better idea as to what sort of thing we're going for :)

Tomorrow I'm not going to the gym or anything, as I'll be at work. But I'm still going to be good with what I eat and such :) My tummy already feel firmer!

My Day in Pictures

I've had a rather productive day today! and I was very good. I'm feeling a bit full and tired tonight, as I had fish and chips for my tea - they were yummy and they came with a cuppa (always nice).

It absolutely poured down in Whitby! We got soaked walking down the 199 steps from the abbey to the shops. The water literally ran in rivers around us. It stopped eventually though, thank god.

We did our shopping, buying sweeties (not for me) which I'm going to pop in a jar and tie with a ribbon for a present. And we got some smellys too, but they were for my mam to give someone. We would have had a look around the shops more if it weren't for the rain.

But finally it stopped! We had fish and chips and then walked back through town and up the 199 steps.
Though we had to stop half way up.

Look! Just look at all those steps!
We were bloody knackered xD

Then we saw some baby seagulls! It was like springwatch, but right in front of me.
They're in the nest between those two chimneys ------>

When we finally reached the top we had to have a sit down. It was a lovely view, now that the rain had stopped. Unfortunately, due to some major subsidence issues going on, we couldn't sit at the bench where Rob asked me to marry him, but we were pretty close :)




Then on the walk back we saw some ponies! Well...they were huge, so they were definitely horses.





Tomorrow I shall be going swimming and looking at Bridesmaid dresses with one of my bridesmaids, so that'll be fun. And I might take that bikini photo - we shall see :)

Good Morning!

It's been a good morning so far!

I had a weight watchers yogurt and a strawberry smoothie for breakfast, then I went to the gym! For like an hour and a half!

This is the workout I tracked through Fitocracy. However, I did more than this, only it doesn't really let you track everything.

I did these funny exercise ball spike press-up things that I saw Cassey Ho doing:

They were super hard, and I did about 30 of them (which is where my press ups came from). And my form was not nearly as good as Cassey's but I tried really hard!

I'm going to be brave today, and I'm going to get a photo of me in a bikini, as a sort of before photo. The thing is, I'm not really unhappy with the way I look, I'd just rather my curves were muscle rather than fat. I don't really want to be any smaller than I am (I happen to like my big bum and hips).

Anyway, time for a shower! Then I think I'll get some writing done before I go to Whitby with Rob for fish and chips!! :D

Oh I Ache!

Yesterday was a good day. I had cereal for breakfast, tuna and cucumber on crisp breads for lunch, then bacon egg and beans for tea (I skimped on the chips).

I also did quite a lot of exercise!

My house (that is my parent's house) has a huge back garden, so I did quite a few sprints up and down the lawn, before getting into this 'Crossfit Style' work-out I found online.
It's called - The Ladder and can be found here. Now I am a wimp, so there was no way I could do 50 press ups. So this is what I did:

20 press ups
20 lunges (each leg)
15 sit ups
20 squats
5 burpees
30 second plank
Then I repeated it back up the other way!

I'm so sore today. Which hasn't been helped by the fact that I've been clearing my flat today, climbing up and down four flights of stairs with heavy boxes and bin bags is not fun. I'm covered in bruises!

But you know what? I feel firmer already. And I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow and Friday hopefully, might even go swimming on Friday. Tomorrow I'm also going walking around Whitby, up those 199 steps, so that'll be a pretty decent workout too :)

I'll be ready for the beach in no time haha :D

What to do, what to do?

Today was one of the first proper days to myself that I've had in awhile. While I was at work at 5.30-8pm, I was off the rest of the day, and with no revision or uni work to be done, I started at a bit of a loss.

I didn't get up nearly as early as I wanted, I ended up staying in bed til 9.30am. However, once I got up I went outside and did these two workouts: Bikini Body and Ballet-Inspired. My thighs were killing me!

Food wise - I could have been better - what's worse is what I did eat didn't make me feel very good (I've got a cold anyway, so I don't think that helped). Today I ate: Breakfast = bowl of shreddies. Lunch = hot dog bun (so bad) & dairylee dunker & half a bag of jelly babies (and I wonder why I feel bad?!). Tea = vegetable pasta bake.

I also went on my rollerskates today! Only for like...10 minutes, but I felt it in my thighs and my bum. I was very wobbly to start with. I'm quite good on inlines, but when it comes to proper roller skates, I'm a bit crap. But I got the hang of it eventually :).

Tomorrow, I'm off shopping in the morning, so I'm going to be up nice and early to get a workout in. Hopefully, I'll also be finishing my shorts - I got them all cut out, but then my sewing machine broke while I was making a petticoat. I'm hoping it's just due to some netting stuck under the bobbin, otherwise I'm screwed and I'll have to use my nana's machine.

Here's hoping all goes well tomorrow :)

Summer is finally here

which means that it's time for a holiday in the sun, which means I shall be wearing a bikini.

The last couple of months have been pretty hectic, as I've been getting ready and through my exams. I was all set to be so good in May, doing that 2 day diet thingy, but I should have known it never would have lasted. Frankly, I was far too stressed out to think about dieting or going to the gym. I haven't weighed myself, I don't want too, all I know is I no longer fit in to my smaller size jeans. All that hard work just flown out the window.

It's my finace's graduation on the 16th July, and I'm fashioning myself another dress (with the help of my nana again), and then on the 19th (hopefully) we shall be jetting off with 4 of our friends to sunny Menorca for 7 days in the sun. And I want to be fit for it!

Thus, tomorrow begins the start of me getting ready for a bikini. I shall be going to the gym, and swimming, as often as I can. I'm also hopefully going to start going to a Kettlebell class, and hopefully rollerskating - if I can find anywhere that's flat enough for me to do that.

For the next four weeks I'm going to be using Cassey Ho's Pop Pilates for Beginners Calendar

As I haven't done any pilates for a very long time, I think I need to take myself through a sort of refresher to build my strength back up.

Tomorrow morning I shall be going to the gym and doing the first video from the calendar. I might even get the rollerskates out, though probably just out my front, just to get used to them again.

Now that I'm home I'm also hoping to eat a lot better. Any thought of a diet went right out the window, with me basically scranning everything in sight - not good! Seriously, crisps and sweets and cans and bottles of pop, alcohol (so much alcohol). Just bad things, that only made me feel bad for eating (physically - not emotionally, frankly they were glorious until I ate too much and made myself ill). So now I'm going to be back on smoothies and fruit and grains and good things that make me feel good.

I'm hoping to come up with some more little workouts as I go - especially for abs and legs. I'm reckoning that it's going to be all go on here in the next month or so :)

Wish me luck!